I guess I'm just a crank. Whatever. So, I was just perusing my Facebook account and voila... one of my "friends" that is about 8 months along posted a status. She believes she may be "nesting" since she's planning to clean her messy house today. Then, she makes a comment that she'd rather be having her baby today, but that's probably not going to happen. She seems bummed that she needs to wait 3 more weeks. I have seen her complaining a couple of different times on FB about her pregnancy. She is a sweet girl - that I am not doubting. And, she is a great mother of 2 little girls. But, after my circumstances and losing my baby just about 4 weeks ago, I am apparently not sensitive to the discomfort that late pregnancy causes. Instead, I would give anything to be uncomfortable and tired and miserable and anxious to have my baby (at full term that is). So, instead of empathizing with her, I am annoyed with her. How dare she be so whiny! I should be whiny! I just had my baby DIE! And MY body killed her! At least she still has a baby in there! At least her body isn't expelling the baby for no apparent reason! At least she already has 2 cute little girls that can call her "mommy" and she can expect to have another child within the next month! Grrr...
Okay... I know this was a completely unreasonable rant and I'm sorry to my friend that I even had those thoughts. But, I guess I just needed to get it out of my head so that I can move on with my day. Uff da... whoever said time heals must have meant that it takes A LONG time to heal. I'm not feeling it quite yet... in fact I guess some triggers make it worse. Now I am going to pray for some forgiveness, patience and understanding :)
No comments:
Post a Comment